Sleepy? Or not so much...

Eytan is lovely.  He is doing great, very cute, expressive, flailing arms, squirmy, lovely.



I, however, am a bit stir-crazy, not yet having mastered the art of feeding, changing, or putting babies down to nap while cooking, emailing, weeding the garden, or milking goats (just kidding, we stopped milking the day my water broke (which itself actually happened while milking goats)).  (By the way, here's our garlic harvest)



I know I know, you say, you shouldn't be trying to do all that -- you should sleep when Eytan sleeps, etc etc.  But here's the issue.  I'm not tired.  He sleeps well in the 2-3 hour chunks between nighttime meals.  And I just sleep through an extra morning sleep cycle or two if it's been a short night.  It's probably because he's a pretty chill baby (he has grumpy moments for sure, but don't we all...).  Or perhaps it's that Mike & I are just so stubbornly contrary that we refuse to be exhausted simply because people spent so much time trying to warn us we would be.  Or maybe we've just gotten better about streamlining and prioritizing what's important, in this case baby time -- and so this period has been way laid back relative to running around doing a million things at once like we're both prone to do.  Or maybe there's a societal permission to drop things when you have a baby that you don't get when over-exhausted by, say, grad school.  Or maybe lack of sleep doesn't feel tiring because it's caused by something inherently of value (to me) (I had this experience too with lambing on a sheep farm, where I should have felt tired but wasn't -- in contrast to feeling resentful of and weighed down by a lack of sleep brought on by work that at the end of the day doesn't really matter that much to me).

To be honest, I kind of feel like I'm on vacation.  I sleep late.  I read novels.  I haven't had this much hanging around time in years since well before the dissertation days.  But the downside of that is, well, boredom.  Like a vacation gone too long.  Don't get me wrong -- I really really like Eytan, I'm very glad he's here, I'm glad I get to hang out with him -- but with Mike back at work, I find the long days of babydom to be, well, long.  Going back to work almost sounds good, and we all know how much I like work.  Part of it is that I haven't quite mastered baby portability -- Eytan is still a bit too small for most of the carriers and strollers we've been loaned (but that should change shortly, as he's eating and gaining weight like a pro), I've been told to "take it easy" post-c-section (that's probably about done too), and summer has come in september, meaning it's way too hot even up our canyon to take him out for long periods of time (that should change soon too).  So, I bet I will eventually get to all the neat places around here that I normally wish I could but don't have enough time to explore... but for now it's a little like those bad dreams where you try to run away but your legs don't work -- I'm surrounded by all these things I've been aching to do for years but haven't had the time to -- and now I have the time (and a small companion to boot) but still can't quite get to them.

One more complaint and then I'll give you updates.  And please, don't get me wrong here, I really really appreciate the outpouring of well wishes we've had over the past few weeks, really very much.  But while Eytan hasn't been making me tired, grownups kind of have been.  From guests and visitors (who have been lovely, but) who wake up early or stay over late, to requests and requests and requests for email updates and photos (which is also lovely, but...), to packages and gifts of more clothing than any 6lb person could ever wear (which too is very generous but cumulatively ridiculous, especially since this 6lb person has parents with a washing machine -- I hate to think of what it might have been had we not vigorously fought off almost all proposed baby showers).  Individually it is nothing but thoughtful and kind, but if I were to just go with what's being sent our way, Mike & I would be spending all our time organizing baby clothes and posting Facebook updates of Eytan's every move, and would never spend any actual real live time with him (plus, how do you "sleep when the baby sleeps" if you're constantly updating the internet).  Anyway, this doesn't mean you should stop sending emails or asking for photos (although I woudn't mind you sending baby clothes to foster care centers or something instead if you're tempted by how cute they are at Target) -- more maybe just an underdeveloped commentary on how weird societal norms around babies seem to me to be these days.

After all, babies are born every day, all over the world.  It's very normal.  I'm not saying it's not miraculous or amazing or cool, just that it's also... well, normal.  And somehow here it has turned into one of the most egregiously consumerist things out there -- even normally-very-thrify people telling you about the saline drops and squeezy toys and fashion bugs that you "absolutely need."  And somehow, that on top of all the projecting of how we "must be so tired" or "so proud" or "so X, Y, or Z," not much of which seems to apply so far, is, well, exhausting... and odd.  So maybe I am tired, but not for the reasons I'm "supposed to be."  And really really, this is not at all to disparage the lovely advice and thoughts and ideas we get from people (which we really do appreciate), just somehow when there are babies involved it feels easily overdone.

So, enough of that.  Here's what we've been up to around here.  Goats and chickens are doing well, although the herd and the flock both still need to be thinned out just a little (they eat too much and require a little too much time per benefit for the current household configuration).  They have, however, benefited from the extra attention given them by our visitors lately. 

 

My parents and grandpa were here, which was lovely and very helpful. 





Mike's family is coming in small chunks over the next few weeks as well.  A mohel (Jewish ritual circumciser) came from Seattle to do Eytan's brit, which, aside from a brief "why on earth would we cut off pieces of another human being's body?" panic a couple of days before, was really very beautiful.  And then, when the first wave of stir-crazies hit, the three of us spent part of labor day weekend on Vashon Island (near Seattle) for Jewish family camp -- singing, dancing, crafts, services by the water, guitars, lectures -- it was pretty fun, maybe a little crazy, but very nice.






So, that's it for now.  Eytan (or my projected version of Eytan's opinion) voted to try a hike near Leavenworth today, so we're off.